Lean on Me, when you're not strong...

I've always loved the song "Lean on Me," by Bill Withers heralding from way back in the late 1970s.
-But today, it gleaned a deeper meaning within me.

If you've been keeping up with me, you know that there's always literally approximately 9 million things going on in my life here at college, at one time.

But, then you also know that I've been making adjustments and lifestyle choices for the better so that as a result, life is easier, life is better.

Well.....

Today I decided to test my trust in God.
Notice how I said test MY trust in God, not test God.

"Thou shall not tempt the Lord thy God."
-iDONTwannaANSWERforTHATthankYOUhaha :)

Anyways...

So I woke up around 10:30 am today, pleasantly greeted by the beautiful rays of sunshine coming through my window. It's such a joy to wake up to sunlight, when you want to, not when you have to! Therapeutic of sorts!

I immediately thought to myself: "Hey God! It's Saturday! Woah... I don't have anything planned til Footloose tonight! What's on my agenda?"

I began to think...
the list began...

Well. I need to eat breakfast.
-went to the fridge, ate a modge podge of things (in my head thinking break ahead... must clean out fridge and eat what's there!) 
-breakfast/lunch/brunch/what?
--check.

Well, I should probably work out...
-how nice is it outside? It looks sunny.
-Should I run? Do insanity? Go to the gym and lift?
-oops. ended up doing none of these today. Oh well, I worked out 5 times this week already, one day skipping is fine.

Well, then I should prob go put real clothes on.
-didn't happen.

Well, what homework do I have?
-Music history paper and reading... check did that last night
-Math none, Theory IV none, Performed in Classical on Thursday so that'll be over break... Commercial done... Aural skills transcription... over break....
-HISTORY RESEARCH PAPER..... (begin weeping on the inside)

Woof. Don't want to do my paper.

Then... literally some how... I'm looking through my fridge and realize I have a crap ton of meat that has been frozen in there for the last month or so. (It's fine... not gross or spoiled or anything... not the point of this story) I think to myself again:
-(keep in mind people, you're getting the play by play of Megan's mind. This is monumental...)
-Wow, I really don't think I want this sitting in the freezer over Thanksgiving break. Much less Christmas. I better eat this.
-(Takes out of freezer and tries to cut off one patty's worth)
-fail, it's totally frozen.
-I better thaw this.

-So.... 30 minutes go by and the beef is thawed.

Then... I realize I have enough meat for literally 8 hungry people.
-well crap, I can't eat this much!

So, I call a few of my guy friends and tell them that I have delicious hamburgers cooking and that I can't eat it all.
The first males arrive 5 minutes later.

Now, I was extremely proud of myself because
1) I'd never cooked hamburgers in my life.
-Also, College apartments don't exactly come stocked with grills. Plus I eat more chicken and fish rather than steak. (I'm from a state where you know the cow's name that was shot... that's how you eat beef... there's no such thing as buying it from Wal-Mart. Gross)
2) Literally using a frying pan. Not a struggle, but it was annoying sopping up the grease every 2 minutes. New found appreciation for the George Foreman Grill. Thank you George.
3) I WANT THESE TO TASTE GOOD IF I'M GOING TO FEED THEM TO MALES WHO LOVE MEAT. And I love meat.
-What should I marinate this with? Do people do that or do they just cook it? Well... better wing it.

So... I throw 3 tbsp (or... more) of Grandma Foster's BBQ sauce in there, with lots of lemon pepper, garlic salt, all-encompassing no salt seasoning, minced garlic, and minced onion, and make me some patties.

THEY.WERE.SO.GOOD.

The burgers resulted in 5 people's happy stomach's, and 4 more people in love with GF's BBQ.
Visit their site at http://www.grandmafostersbbq.com/Home.html They're our really good family friends, all the proceeds go to a children's/teenage home to keep kids out of gangs, and it tastes SO GREAT!!!! It's won like a hundred awards, and you'll know why!

I was SO PROUD OF MYSELF. I should make it an official recipe and put it online sometime.
Yes? No? Thoughts?

Anyway... then a few of my friends stayed and we did laundry for like 2 more hours...

Moral of the story: It was 330 pm when they left and my paper was still... not started.

PROBLEM. Due Monday.

But... you know what? I actually rested for the first time in months.
The first Saturday where I didn't HAVE to be somewhere, or do something.
I spent valuable time with friends and still had a couple hours til Footloose.

so... as my friends left, I sat down and said to God:

"Dad, it's 4pm and I haven't started my paper. I know I've procrastinated and literally had so much time to complete this, but I thank You for the wonderful fellowship with friends today and I thank you that the burgers were good and blessed others! Let that seed of food grow and produce a harvest! And now, thank you Lord for quickening my mind and showing me exactly what to write in this paper. To You be the Glory Lord, I believe you're good and You can do ALL things through me! Thank You for stamina and energy and wisdom to complete this with joy and contentment! Also God... I have to shower and stuff before and be there really soon so... REALLY quicken my mind!"


at 4:57 pm I looked up from my laptop.

I had just been completely focused and typing for an hour. Sources flowed easily through my paper, every argument supported with factual evidence.

Click: "See Word Count"

Almost 900 words had been typed.

Then: took a shower.

It's now 5:45 and I have to be at the show at 7, and eat dinner.

Sat down at 6:15 to start writing, stopped at 6:45.

500 more words typed!

Thank you Lord!!!!! :)

Footloose was INCREDIBLE and I'm so so happy I went!

Got home, ate some snacks, and finished my paper in an HOUR! :)

1,764 words, and 7 pages later, and God is good!

Now tomorrow, despite church in the morning, a rehearsal from 12-3, pictures from 330-430, and sorority chapter at 7, I can rest and peacefully edit my paper and put in the footnotes, knowing that my God provided like he promises He always will do.

It's so cool to trust God and lean on Him.

We get to have fun with our friends, while trusting He can bring wisdom to us.

Disclaimer: I still shouldn't have procrastinated, and I'm not condoning it, but God is very very good, and is our Helper for a reason!

Be encouraged. You can do it because He can do it, and His strength lies WITHIN YOU!!!

Philipians 4:13

Megan. <3

Rainy Days equal... Joy?

Unless you're partial to living in Seattle or places like it... this post will absolutely resonate with you.


So in Nashville, it rains, a lot.
And with rain at least for me, it's extremely easy to become unmotivated and sad.

Something about cloudy days, cold, and moisture just don't resonate well with me, making me honestly in a blatantly negative mood. I've in the past blamed it on stress, hunger, or even "female problems," but all in all, being negative is never okay.  It all boils down to letting my emotions control me and not controlling them.

The Bible says that we have been given the victory. POWER over EVERY force and the principalities of darkness. It tells us darkness FLEES from light. It tells us that light ALWAYS overpowers darkness.

And yet... we allow mere things of the 5 senses to inhibit us from walking fully joyous, peaceful, and victorious lives!

... What? Why!

We are all imperfect, and taught in society that it's ok to get to a point where you have to rant or cry your eyes out til you feel black and blue to feel better. Society tells us that gorging in a bucket of ice cream or punching someone in the face are the only ways to resolve the issue of inner sadness, but what does God have to say about this?

The Bible tells us that we have the fruits of the spirit in Galatians 5:22-23, (Love, Joy, Peace, discipline, Self-control... etc)

I would like to focus on self-control.

We have been GIVEN the power to control and be the victor over our emotions! The POWER to CONTROL... OURSELVES! This may seem trite and a minute thing to focus on, but how many times do we not take our thoughts captive (Like Romans 12:1-2 says to do) and then before we realize a negative emotional attack happening, we're in a world of emotional hurt and just wanna crawl back into bed and sob?

How do I know this? Because it literally happened to me yesterday, after church.

Saturday night I spent my evening with my best friend, gabbing about our plans to study abroad this upcoming May in Ireland.  We fellowshipped immensely and for hours on end talked about the Lord and His calling on our individual lives.  I went to bed so overjoyed!

Sunday morning, I woke up before my alarm and spent time in the word before I got ready to attend a new church that was recommended to me.  I went to church, filled with more word and BAM! all of a sudden on my drive home Satan launches a HUGE emotional attack on me and it takes everything in my power not to start bawling my eyes out over... what. NOTHING!!!!!

So I began to use the power I knew was inside of me, the power that Jesus promises we have, the power to SPEAK over the situation and CHANGE what we can sense through the 5 physical senses. (Keep in mind the Bible says what we see and feel are carnal and changing, but the things of the spirit are steadfast and unchanging! (2 Corinthians 4:18: While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.) 

So I began to speak, but after a minute or so, gave in.
I arrived back at my apartment and in a fit, secluded myself to my room.
I didn't feel better until I meditated on what the TRUTH was, while talking to my mother she spoke the word over me and told me what the Bible said.

Immediately, as if snapped out of a stupor, I was fully able to again take a situation, whether my workload, home sickness, and everything that was going on in perspective, and not in a fit of emotion that tried to tell me I had a million things to do IN THAT MOMENT and not later.

Hebrews 4 tells us that we are given the peaceable REST of God. He's always there to comfort us and guide us and that if we put him FIRST, (like for me... above school) God will always ALWAYS work everything out.  So as I'm growing, I'm learning these things, and I cannot tell you how much it's made a difference.

I recommitted my time to putting God above school 4 weeks ago after fall break.

In that time span, I've had a huge test pushed back a week
A Paper pushed back 2 days.
A class cancelled
Another class cancelled twice.
God CANNOT fail, and when we ask in His name and BELIEVE He HAS to deliver.
We just don't give Him enough LITERAL "time of day" to learn to lean on and trust in Him! He has already said He has provided all of our needs unto His riches in glory!
Whether that means pushing back a test, helping pay for your car payment, or blessing someone else so He can bless you, it's all about putting God first so He can have the ability and allowance to operate fully in our lives!!!

So be happy!
God has provided SO much for us, and the devil blow by blow uses STUPID tactics (that are always the same) to trick our minds into thinking the 5 physical sense things we see, feel, touch, hear, or smell are forever set in stone.  God can change anything. God can do anything. He IS our peace, IS our happiness, and through the fruit of self-control, we can control our emotions.

Megan <3

Identity

Something has been burning on my heart for the last week or so, and I can't wait to continue to grow in it and study it out. What is this concept? Identity.

Especially an issue I think for women, but important for everyone, this concept has been pulverized, manipulated, and contorted in our minds as Americans from the time we are little.

It could be from anything, whether the media, family members, teachers, or friends. Bottom line is, that society teaches us to be something we're not, to conform to this image of perfection that is both unattainable, and ridiculous.

Growing up, I've always been that "too tall, too skinny" girl that never quite fit in with the popular girls.  I was made fun of and picked at for everything that made me unique, everything that could possibly make me different or a cut above anyone else.  Girls are mean, and every girl knows that, whether it's turning all the other toddlers away from you or by stealing your candy in class.  Whether shunning you or picking you last for kickball.   Anything that makes someone unique, is considered wrong, and one must conform to the image of something that someone else has set to be what is right.

Media through advertisements, television shows, and movies tell women that they have to be 5 foot 10 and 120 pounds with some elements big and some small in just the right places. If we don't have this, then we should always be striving to attain this.  And we wonder why so many girls have eating disorders and search for love in the wrong places, constantly looking for the fulfillment of self through pathways that only lead to more destruction, and further questions.

So now, I'll get off my soap box and elicit why exactly this is on my heart, and my point in all of this.

My point is that, once you find your identity, it's the most inspiring, incredible, love overflowing, grace abounding, peaceful, fulfilling, joy-filled life you could EVER IMAGINE!

Believe me, I've lived the alternative, and although I was never a "bad kid" I have definitely been through my fair share of hardships.  I heard this amazing quote this weekend at my sorority's retreat out in the middle of nowhere that stated that you can't tell someone they aren't sad just because you think your situation is worse and you're even sadder, just like if someone is happy you don't say they aren't happy because you're happier.

That being said, I believe that true identity is only found in Jesus Christ, and knowing His love.  I know I know, you've all heard that before and that may seem a little blunt, but I have LIVED what it's like to not put God first, lived what it's like to be a Christian but not WALK in His love.  It's impossible to put into words how incredible it feels to truly know that no matter if any person picked me last for kickball, no matter if someone told me that I was the fattest, ugliest, too tall girl in the entire world, that through ONLY GODS LOVE I can be resilient, and tell myself and walk CONVINCED that I do NOT have to accept that as truth.  I walk in the truth of the Word, that through meditating (fixing eyes on, basking in, reading) on the Word of God and letting it into my spirit and affect the way I live I have truly become POWERFUL and STRONG!
There are so many scriptures I've heard my entire life that talk about "How Great is Our God" (Chris Tomlin's song everyone's heard), but really... how many times do we make our PROBLEMS bigger than a guy who in the Bible it says has a thumbnail THE SIZE OF THE EARTH? Guys, there are 7 BILLION people on here... and we let the actions or words of one person affect us when we have an ARMY of angels, and the Almighty One WITH US who says He will NEVER leave us NOR forsake us!!! What? Seriously, it's so funny and a bit stupid when we put the two on a scale side by side.
Y'all, seriously I'm NOT perfect and literally in the last MONTH I've really grasped this, and it's only by meditating on God's love. It gets me so excited! Seriously! I KNOW WHO I AM. I am His, and He is mine.  There has been SO much awful honestly just... CRAP that's happened this school year, whether it be having to constantly be around people who are just inherently NEGATIVE and SEARCHING and DON'T know their identity.  I'm not gonna lie, it's been EXTREMELY challenging at times.  But you know what's gotten me through? God's love, and learning that I HAVE the POWER to CHOOSE what affects me. I have the power through Jesus Christ to CHOOSE what I let bring me down, or I choose to have Joy and be content in all circumstances! (Phil 4:11-13)

But it's only because I know that my identity is in Him.
He forms my image of myself.
By the principles of His word, forms what I believe.
By His stripes, I am healed.
Because He SO Loved me, He laid down and GAVE His life for me. (John 3:16)
Because I am imperfect, God sent the perfect one to SAVE ME.

I'm not too skinny, too fat, too tall, too anything.  I'm not perfect, and I definitely always have things to work on. But I hold on to His grace constantly working through me to change me from the inside out.  I am a living, breathing example of His love which I try my best to outpour to others, because until I understand His love I literally cannot comprehend what it means to love others, creating a wall shutting others out.  I thank Jesus that there's never going to be a day I improve, move forward, and deliberately increase in faith and depth of the knowledge of Jesus. To Him be the glory for all the elements of me that other people want to be like.  Every smile, every good deed, every time I have the opportunity to minister based on a past awful or great experience. It's all Him.

Thank you Lord.

Megan. <3