Identity

Something has been burning on my heart for the last week or so, and I can't wait to continue to grow in it and study it out. What is this concept? Identity.

Especially an issue I think for women, but important for everyone, this concept has been pulverized, manipulated, and contorted in our minds as Americans from the time we are little.

It could be from anything, whether the media, family members, teachers, or friends. Bottom line is, that society teaches us to be something we're not, to conform to this image of perfection that is both unattainable, and ridiculous.

Growing up, I've always been that "too tall, too skinny" girl that never quite fit in with the popular girls.  I was made fun of and picked at for everything that made me unique, everything that could possibly make me different or a cut above anyone else.  Girls are mean, and every girl knows that, whether it's turning all the other toddlers away from you or by stealing your candy in class.  Whether shunning you or picking you last for kickball.   Anything that makes someone unique, is considered wrong, and one must conform to the image of something that someone else has set to be what is right.

Media through advertisements, television shows, and movies tell women that they have to be 5 foot 10 and 120 pounds with some elements big and some small in just the right places. If we don't have this, then we should always be striving to attain this.  And we wonder why so many girls have eating disorders and search for love in the wrong places, constantly looking for the fulfillment of self through pathways that only lead to more destruction, and further questions.

So now, I'll get off my soap box and elicit why exactly this is on my heart, and my point in all of this.

My point is that, once you find your identity, it's the most inspiring, incredible, love overflowing, grace abounding, peaceful, fulfilling, joy-filled life you could EVER IMAGINE!

Believe me, I've lived the alternative, and although I was never a "bad kid" I have definitely been through my fair share of hardships.  I heard this amazing quote this weekend at my sorority's retreat out in the middle of nowhere that stated that you can't tell someone they aren't sad just because you think your situation is worse and you're even sadder, just like if someone is happy you don't say they aren't happy because you're happier.

That being said, I believe that true identity is only found in Jesus Christ, and knowing His love.  I know I know, you've all heard that before and that may seem a little blunt, but I have LIVED what it's like to not put God first, lived what it's like to be a Christian but not WALK in His love.  It's impossible to put into words how incredible it feels to truly know that no matter if any person picked me last for kickball, no matter if someone told me that I was the fattest, ugliest, too tall girl in the entire world, that through ONLY GODS LOVE I can be resilient, and tell myself and walk CONVINCED that I do NOT have to accept that as truth.  I walk in the truth of the Word, that through meditating (fixing eyes on, basking in, reading) on the Word of God and letting it into my spirit and affect the way I live I have truly become POWERFUL and STRONG!
There are so many scriptures I've heard my entire life that talk about "How Great is Our God" (Chris Tomlin's song everyone's heard), but really... how many times do we make our PROBLEMS bigger than a guy who in the Bible it says has a thumbnail THE SIZE OF THE EARTH? Guys, there are 7 BILLION people on here... and we let the actions or words of one person affect us when we have an ARMY of angels, and the Almighty One WITH US who says He will NEVER leave us NOR forsake us!!! What? Seriously, it's so funny and a bit stupid when we put the two on a scale side by side.
Y'all, seriously I'm NOT perfect and literally in the last MONTH I've really grasped this, and it's only by meditating on God's love. It gets me so excited! Seriously! I KNOW WHO I AM. I am His, and He is mine.  There has been SO much awful honestly just... CRAP that's happened this school year, whether it be having to constantly be around people who are just inherently NEGATIVE and SEARCHING and DON'T know their identity.  I'm not gonna lie, it's been EXTREMELY challenging at times.  But you know what's gotten me through? God's love, and learning that I HAVE the POWER to CHOOSE what affects me. I have the power through Jesus Christ to CHOOSE what I let bring me down, or I choose to have Joy and be content in all circumstances! (Phil 4:11-13)

But it's only because I know that my identity is in Him.
He forms my image of myself.
By the principles of His word, forms what I believe.
By His stripes, I am healed.
Because He SO Loved me, He laid down and GAVE His life for me. (John 3:16)
Because I am imperfect, God sent the perfect one to SAVE ME.

I'm not too skinny, too fat, too tall, too anything.  I'm not perfect, and I definitely always have things to work on. But I hold on to His grace constantly working through me to change me from the inside out.  I am a living, breathing example of His love which I try my best to outpour to others, because until I understand His love I literally cannot comprehend what it means to love others, creating a wall shutting others out.  I thank Jesus that there's never going to be a day I improve, move forward, and deliberately increase in faith and depth of the knowledge of Jesus. To Him be the glory for all the elements of me that other people want to be like.  Every smile, every good deed, every time I have the opportunity to minister based on a past awful or great experience. It's all Him.

Thank you Lord.

Megan. <3